Is Flirting Online When in a Relationship Classed as Cheating?

Introduction

In the digital age, the lines between what is considered appropriate behaviour and cheating in a relationship have become blurred. With the rise of social media, messaging apps, and dating sites, there are more opportunities to connect with people online. This opens the door for emotionally or physically cheating through technology.

One behaviour that many people in relationships engage in online is flirting. But is flirting with someone other than your partner cheating?

In this blog post, we’ll explore the grey areas around online flirting and examine different perspectives on whether it should be considered cheating.

Is Flirting Online When In A Relationship Classed As Cheating?

Defining Online Flirting

Before analysing if online flirting is cheating, it’s important to define what flirting in the digital space actually means. Some examples of flirting online include:

• Commenting on someone’s social media posts with romantic or sexual undertones. This could be anything from complimenting their attractiveness to making flirtatious remarks.
• Liking, favouriting, or reacting suggestively to posts, pictures, or stories. This interacts with content in a flirty way.
• Sexting or sharing sexual messages, images, or videos. This is considered one of the most egregious forms of online flirting.
• Creating intimacy with someone through digital communication like late-night messaging or sharing details about your life. Even without overtly sexual overtones, this can cross emotional boundaries.
• Maintaining contact with ex-partners online through likes, comments, or messages. This toes the line between innocent friendship and emotional cheating.

So in summary, online flirting encompasses any electronic communication that indicates romantic, physical, or emotional interest in someone other than your partner. The degree to which it crosses the line varies based on the situation.

Reasons People Flirt Online When in a Relationship

Before designating online flirting as cheating, it’s important to understand why people in relationships do it. Some motivations include:

• Seeking validation and attention – Flirting elicits positive feedback, which boosts confidence and self-esteem.
• Boredom and curiosity – Interacting with new people online combats restlessness and monotony in a long-term relationship.
• Lack of boundaries – Partners might not realize digital flirting can be inappropriate until it goes too far.
• The anonymity of being online – The internet provides a veil of secrecy, which enables people to act in ways they normally wouldn’t.
• Intimacy issues in the relationship – Flirting online may fill an emotional or physical void with a partner.
• Passive flirting habits – Some are naturally flirtatious and don’t even realise when they are crossing the line.

So while not all online flirting stems from malicious intent, understanding the motivations provides insight into why those in relationships engage in it.

Different Perspectives on Online Flirting

Opinions differ on whether online interactions with romantic undertones should be considered cheating while in a committed relationship.

Here are some standpoints on both sides of the debate:

It is cheating if:

• The flirting becomes frequent and targeted towards one specific person. Occasional, harmless flirting may be innocent, but consistent flattery and intimacy directed at someone is crossing a line.
• It progresses beyond flirting to sexting or making plans to meet up. This demonstrates an intent to be physically unfaithful.
• One partner is uncomfortable with it and has communicated that boundary. Disregarding a partner’s boundaries around online communication can be a betrayal of trust.
• It is purposefully kept secret. Hiding flirtatious interactions indicates an awareness that a line is being crossed.

It is NOT cheating if:

• The interactions stay casual, harmless, and infrequent. Occasional flirting may not have meaningful romantic intent.
• The partner is aware and accepting. Some couples may be fine with a certain level of online flirtation occurring.
• No plans to meet up are made. Keeping it strictly online prevents it from becoming physical cheating.
• It satisfies a need for attention lacking in the relationship. As long as boundaries aren’t being crossed, a boost of confidence from flirting can be harmless if it fulfils an emotional void.
• There is transparency about the interactions. Keeping a partner in the loop on who is being communicated with online prevents deception.

As you can see, consensus on where online flirting falls on the cheating spectrum varies depending on individual perspectives and relationship boundaries. But in many cases, online interactions cross a line if they become frequent, secretive, or transition to plans of meeting up.

Signs Your Partner is Flirting Online

If you suspect your partner may be engaging in inappropriate online flirting, there are some red flags to watch out for:

• They become protective over their phone and computer. Partners who conceal access to their devices may be hiding flirtatious messages and activity.
• You catch them minimising screens or rapidly switching apps when you walk by. This evasive behaviour is an attempt to cover up flirty exchanges.
• Their social media activity changes. New comments appearing from potential romantic interests, favouriting provocative photos, and posting more selfies can indicate flirtatious social media activity.
• Their online status doesn’t match up with their actual activities. When their devices show them logged in late at night or during times they said they would be unavailable, it may signify flirtatious chats occurring.
• You notice them giggling or smiling at their screen frequently. Happiness when engaging online is a potential sign of emotional or romantic exchanges.
• They get defensive when asked about their online interactions. Defensiveness about online activity often arises from a place of guilt.
• You don’t know or recognise contacts they are interacting with. Unfamiliar names popping up in notifications or messages may belong to romantic interests.

While not definitive proof, these cues are worth paying attention to if you suspect your partner is crossing the line online. Don’t ignore your intuition.

Setting Boundaries Around Online Flirting

To avoid relationship conflicts and cheating, it’s important for couples to communicate their boundaries around online interactions with others.

Here are some tips for setting expectations:

• Discuss what you both consider to be crossing the line. This gives clarity on what online behaviours you are and aren’t comfortable with.
• Agree on guidelines like not flirting with exes, limiting late-night messaging, or abstaining from suggestive selfies on social media. Establish standards you both think are reasonable.
• Monitor each other’s online activity respectfully. Having mutual access to devices and accounts reduces secrecy.
• Disclose when you interact online with romantic interests. Transparency and honesty are key.
• Listen without judgment. Creating a safe space to share openly allows your partner to admit faults.
• Evaluate if you need to uninstall certain apps or platforms. Removing temptation may be necessary in some cases.
• Seek couples counselling if you continue struggling. A therapist can help work through jealousy, mistrust, and boundary setting.

Approaching the situation as a team and talking through acceptable online conduct prevents deception and helps avoid infidelity. Don’t be afraid to assert your needs.

Is ‘Liking’ Every Social Media Post Classed As Flirting?

Constantly liking everything someone posts on social media could potentially cross the line into flirting territory, but it depends on a few factors:

• Intent – Is the intention behind frequently liking posts to show romantic/sexual interest or simply platonic friendliness? Frequent likes motivated by attraction indicate flirting.
• Content – Liking innocuous posts like memes or life updates is less flirtatious than constantly liking selfies, physical appearance-focused posts, or provocative photos. The nature of the posts matters.
• Existing relationship – How well do you already know this person? Liking an acquaintance’s or stranger’s every post comes across as flirtatious versus if it’s a close friend you normally interact with a lot.
• One-sided – If you’re only lavishing likes on one person and not others, this selective attention could reveal a flirtatious crush-like interest.
• Partner’s comfort – Most importantly, how does your partner feel about you constantly liking this person’s posts? If your partner has expressed discomfort, it’s best to dial back the likes out of respect for their boundaries.

So in summary, while liberally liking someone’s posts doesn’t automatically equal flirting, if it’s frequent, focused on one person, and consists of liking intimate or physical appearance-focused posts, then it can cross platonic lines and be considered flirtatious behaviour when in a relationship. Discuss boundaries openly with your partner.

Making Your Relationship Affair-Proof

While establishing online flirting boundaries is important, addressing the root of why partners seek emotional or physical connections elsewhere online is key to preventing cheating and improving your relationship.

Here are some ways to make your relationship affair-proof:

• Maintain intimacy emotionally and physically between each other. Fulfilling each other’s needs prevents seeking external validation.
• Discuss and resolve any underlying relationship issues. Problems like lack of quality time, poor communication, or bedroom incompatibility contribute to flirting outside the relationship. Tackling these strengthens the partnership.
• Surprise each other with romantic dates and gifts. Don’t take each other for granted. Keep the spark alive.
• Develop trust by being each other’s biggest supporters. Having implicit faith prevents jealousy over online activity.
• Respect each other’s privacy. While being open about online behavior, also allow personal space and freedom.
• Establish mutual friends and support systems outside the relationship. Having healthy platonic friendships reduces inappropriate emotional intimacy with others online.
• Seek counselling if you continue having conflicts over infidelity. Therapists provide tools to stop cheating and get your relationship back on track.

While online flirting can threaten relationships, being proactive builds an unshakeable foundation based on mutual trust, fulfilment, and communication that keeps your connection affair-proof.

Conclusion

Flirting online when in a relationship falls into a grey area, with reasonable arguments on both sides of whether it should be classified as cheating. Harmless admiration or infrequent casual compliments may be innocent, but consistent, escalating, and secretive online interactions with romantic intent often cross boundaries.

Having open discussions about what digital behaviours you consider appropriate, being transparent about online activity, and nurturing intimacy and trust in your relationship are the best ways to avoid hurt feelings and prevent emotionally or physically betraying your partner online. With proper communication and boundaries, online flirting doesn’t have to spell the demise of an otherwise happy relationship

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